Sometimes

I can't believe we've been here a whole week already.

Sometimes I feel lost, not having a job that I have to get up and go to. Especially when I took Ella to the doctor and filled out Rick's place of employment, then put nothing for mine.

Sometimes I wonder if it was the right decision for Rick to take a paycut for this job, then I see him dressed in shorts for work, happy as can be, and I know it was.

Sometimes I wonder if this was the right decision for me, then I get in the car and drive around and look at the beautiful mountains and I'm instantly renewed.

Sometimes I wonder if this was the right decision for the kids. I'm still not sure when to put them to bed, or if I should wake them up in the mornings or let them sleep. Then I take Bradley to swim team tryouts and nearly bust out of my skin with pride because he can already swim all four competitve strokes - freestyle, backstroke, breast stroke, and butterfly. Then I remember that both kids will have so many better opportunities here.

Sometimes I'm sad, thinking of my friends, and how much I miss them, and sometimes I'm happy, thinking of my friends, and how blessed I am to have them. Some people only stay in your life for a season, but I know that so many of my friends will be with me forever.

"I am, really, sometimes, I am." (Michael Tolcher)